


News

by Okadiah



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Jedi Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okadiah/pseuds/Okadiah
Summary: Set immediately after Jedi Night when the crew returns and has to break to news to Zeb about what happened to Kanan.





	News

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this right after Jedi Night aired and never got around to posting it, until now. I couldn't help but think what Zeb had to have gone through, having to pick up the pieces.
> 
> Anyway, the story stings a bit and sorry for reopening old wounds (again), but regardless I hope you'll enjoy!

Garazeb Orrelios was no stranger to death. How could he be when he’d witnessed the near genocide of his entire race. He knew it could strike at any moment. He knew that there was only so long anyone’s luck held out, and it was why his life philosophy had developed into a tried and true ‘swing while you can, keep no regrets’.

Still. Though he’d known the possibility was there for them, rebels that they were, perhaps a small part of him had deluded himself. But come on, he had good reason. They had a brilliant weapon’s engineer, the best pilot in the galaxy, the most dangerous droid in existence, himself, and two _Jedi_. If there was ever a group of people who could survive anything, it was them. And if there was anyone who could survive anything, it was _Kanan_.

And that was why, when Sabine landed and threw her helmet violently at the ground, stalking rapidly away and scrubbing her face, he hadn’t believed it. That was why when Hera came off the transport, he’d still believed nothing was wrong. That was why, even when Ezra told him, he hadn’t immediately thought _death_. Capture sure. They’d all experienced that before at one point or another. But not death.

Yet that was exactly what it was. And the look on Ezra’s face … it wasn’t a joke. The kid would never joke about something like this.

And all Zeb could think about was one of the last things he’d said to the blind Jedi. That Zeb was glad the Force was with him. With Kanan. Because it always was. It always had been. Zeb had believed in it. They all had.

Never in his life had he felt more like a liar and a fool than he did at that moment.

Because this was _Kanan_ they were talking about. His brother. His best friend. The only one who came close to understanding what the destruction of Lasan and the Lasat race meant to Zeb. The other survivor. They’d been drunk together, fought together, brushed elbows and argued and pretended not to notice when the other quietly broke down though they wouldn’t leave until it was over and—

Grief hit him as hard as the loss of Lasan had. This had been his _brother_. His _family._

And Kanan was gone. Just like that. Zeb hadn’t even had a chance to see it happen. To be there, as if his presence could have somehow changed the outcome.

His throat closed up and the anguish beat at him, but with Ezra falling apart in his arms it was impossible for him to do anything except hold the boy tight. Now more than ever, he needed to be strong for Ezra. For all of them, even if the agony raged just as strong within his chest. Even if his thoughts and memories felt more like weapons to use against himself.

Zeb listened to Ezra fall apart as he sobbed, babbling an incoherent string of events Zeb struggled to put together, but understood all the same. Explosion. Saved us. He’s _gone_.

He’s gone.

And Zeb had _told_ Kanan the Force was with him. Had that been the last thing he’d said? Had he actually smiled at the Jedi with that new and horrible haircut of his? Was that the last thing he’d done?

He clung to Ezra tighter but refused to let the tears fall.

Eventually Ezra pulled away, guided by Chopper who’d brought Hera to Zeb as if exchanging partners. She looked awful and distraught. He’d _never_ seen her like this, and then her tears welled up and he pulled her into his arms too and listened as she confessed as well.

His heart broke again as he listened. He’d always known what existed between her and Kanan. How many nights had he and Kanan gone drinking, only for Kanan to wax longingly over his green Twi’lek lady love after he’d had too much? How many times had he walked in on them having a moment, and smirked at them knowingly enough to make Hera blush.

Kanan had saved her, and she’d told him how she felt, but not what she’d been hiding. She’d meant to, she _had_ , she swore she had. She’d been waiting until they got back. When everything was peaceful and they were all safe – she was just waiting for the right time! She promised she was, though Zeb had no idea what she meant. Only what he suspected. And only that it made the agony of Kanan’s loss that much more poignant.

And she’d lost Kanan immediately after. Before she’d been able to tell him her secret. Before she and Kanan could truly do something with all the potential they’d cultivated together for years, potential Zeb had silently rooted for.

And just like that, it was snuffed out.

Zeb never thought Hera could break. She was the best of them. The strongest of them. And yet, she was breaking now, and all he could do was hold her tighter, even if the sound of her sobs shattered him further.

Again, all he could remember was telling Kanan he was glad the Force was with him. Smiling as he sent them off, wishing them well.

Sabine, when he found her, put up the hardest fight, doing what she always did when she hurt and ached. Isolating herself. No one was as tough as she was, Zeb knew that better than anyone, which was why he also knew she had the biggest heart. She hadn’t said anything as she’d broken down. Then again, she hadn’t needed to because she was like he was. Bottling it up. Showing as much as she dared before locking it away to fuel the raging fire she’d need to do whatever else needed doing next.

But she leaned against him and let her tears wet his fur. And he’d held her as tightly as he had the others.

It wasn’t until later, when he was alone standing on the hills where he’d last talked to Kanan, last smiled at Kanan, last seen Kanan as they’d flown off into one of Lothal’s brilliant sunsets that he finally let himself have a few moments to grieve. To be weak by himself so he could be strong enough to be the pillar of support his family needed now, more than ever.

Kanan was gone. He was really _gone_.

And he was never coming back.


End file.
